Sunday, September 15

Right in front of us.

I've always heard people say that God uses their children to teach them about, well about everything. The minute I found out I was pregnant it became evident that God would use this child to reveal Himself in big ways in my life.
It's impossible to have a child and NOT learn from them.
Well, for the first time God used Tanner in a very specific way to teach me something that I guess I've been dealing with and didn't even know it.
His faithfulness amazes me everyday. 

It was a normal morning, me trying to hold my eyelids open so I could see well enough to lay Tanner on the floor while I made my breakfast and prepared the coffee. I put the blanket down (which is pointless because he doesn't stay on it) got out all of his favorite toys in hopes he would be amused long enough for me to accomplish my tasks. 
Instantly I watched as my son slightly glance at his bright, new, baby toys and then proceeded to do his version of army crawling towards the computer and cords across the room.
He isn't very fast yet so he grunts and squeals while doing his very best to get to the one thing hes not allowed to touch in the room.
I sort of chuckled and placed him back in front of his toys.
 Again he instantly spun around and diligently moved towards the computer.
After having a small lesson in "no touch" I moved him back in front of his toys and showed him those were the toys he was allowed to play with.
Again he wanted nothing to do with his toys and started his mission towards the computer.
And in that moment as I watched him head towards the computer God so clearly showed me an ugly picture of myself.
How many times in life does He place beautiful blessings right in front of me and I barely glance at them while I head towards other "things" of this world. How often does He bless me simply because of his unconditional love and yet I ignore those only to run after the things He instructs me not to touch.
I picked up Tanner, asked forgiveness to God and thanked Him for reminding me that I have so many things in this world.
He has commanded me to be thankful. 
And not because of the many blessings I have but because He died on the cross and through Him I have victory.
I have a feeling this will not be the last time God will use Tanner to reveal sin and even when those moments are uncomfortable, I am so thankful He is faithful to teach me every day.


Friday, September 6

Five months

 I don't know how this has happened. My itty bitty, tiny, squishy little boy is now
5 months old.
I can't believe he has been in our life for 5 months.
What an incredible blessing! 

What we want to remember from month five:

Tanner is absolutely full of life.

 He makes us laugh all day long.

 I started noticing him grabbing and fussing when Kevin and I ate so this month we have introduced some solids to him. We have been taking it very slow, never pushing and only doing one meal a day but he has adjusted very well. The first couple bites he still looks at me like I am feeding him the worst food ever but then kicks and screeches in between each bite.

 When Tanner was born he was such an easy, laid back baby and I would have never guessed that he would be this very active, always on the go child.
Tanner LOVES people. When I take him to the store he stares and smiles at anyone that will notice him.
He definitely has my personality there.
He thrives on people interaction and it is a daily struggle for me to get anything done because he hates being alone.

 This week Tanner has been desperately trying to army crawl. He can get his feet going but can't figure out how to put his arms in front so he sort of drags them along. He rolls all over and then grunts and tries so hard to get where he wants to go, and then screams because he gets so frustrated he can't get there.

 He is still not sleeping through the night, waking anywhere from 1-3 times wanting to nurse.
Thankfully this week he has only gotten up once a night, I'm praying this trend continues.

 Naps are also a struggle. He is just not a good sleeper. So we do what works for us with his naps and someday I pray he will take at least 1 decent nap a day.
For now, I'm doing my best not to be frustrated or take any of this time for granted.
I know I will never get any of it back.

I say it on every post, but I really am so thankful for this precious baby. Motherhood is the hardest job God has asked me to do and it takes daily prayers and a whole lot of grace.
I love watching Tanner grow and change, but it has just hit me lately how fast each moment passes. 

I'm so thankful I have him to take on this life with and Kevin and I can't wait for whats next.